This week a month ago Daniel and his sister Loyda began to live with us. They previously lived together in a dark room, without much care, attention or affection and they were also quite malnourished. They did not talk, hardly made any contact or indicated what they needed. What has this month been like for them? A bullet-point thumb-nail sketch:
- They have gained several kilos, are free of parasites, and we do not need to be as alert as we had to be when we put some food out somewhere. Daniel is now more in control and no longer stuffs food into his mouth when we are off guard.
- They have become more aware when they need a visit to the loo and Loyda in particular often indicates her need in time. That saves us quite a bit of washing of wet clothes and mopping of the floor. (Weren’t we lucky our floors are tiled, not carpeted!?)
- Daniel stares far less often at the floor, regularly makes eye contact and is more able to show something like affection!
- Loyda’s mouth no longer hangs open the whole day, hardly ever pokes three-quarters of her ring finger up her nose (how does she do it!) and occasionally produces a laughing sound.
- Loyda cooperates well with the method we have thought of to prevent her gobbling her meal in one minute. She now chews her food, spends 15 minutes finishing her plate and of course will have a stronger sense that she has eaten.
- The whole team enthusiastically participates in the intensive coaching we provide them in how to make contact with Daniel and Loyda. Hopefully they will increasingly experience that it is OK to relate to us and the wider world, a world from which they have been closed off for years as no one gave them any attention.
- We push the boundaries in ourselves and in them, as we realize we can only influence others if first of all we work with our own fears, demands and shortcomings.
Conclusion: We are growing and learning, albeit faltering at times, and are grateful for every tiny step that Daniel and Loyda make. We’re fully engaged in working with our own weaknesses and in becoming a good team. The results show we are on the right track. And it gives us courage.